Last week, my sisters came to town for my graduation and to help pack up our apartment. Because Frisco is an expensive place to live, my dad decided it was time to live closer to one of my sisters in Nashville. Getting to see my sisters again since Thanksgiving was wonderful and we did have fun during their trip. Unfortunately, the stress and little family tiffs (because what's family fun without the usual tiffs?!) started to get to me.
There were plenty of school projects to do in the last week of school plus packing to leave the morning after graduation. It got pretty hectic and started to affect me physically. I became really tired and achy. My headaches became more frequent and my wisdom teeth started hurting more than normal. I also became very moody and did not want to interact with the people around me. Surprisingly to most people, I was expecting this to happen.
Every time I have moved to a new place, the decision had been sudden and without a thought of how I felt. (Before I go on, my mini ranting does not include the most recent move. The friends I have made in Frisco are great but I never belonged there.) I know when you are a little kid, your opinions about moving don't affect the decision but it's nice to be remembered every once in awhile. It is because of these unspoken feelings that I become an entirely different person when it comes time to move to a different "home".
Now I know what you are thinking, "Why doesn't she let the people around her know how she feels? Why does she keep things bottled up?". The truth: 1. I have always felt that I get in the way of the people around me and that I already burden them so much with my health problems and needs. 2. I don't keep things bottled up. I let my feelings out through my escape, my music.
Music is the one thing that keeps me going through thick and thin. At any moment in time, no matter my mood, I can always find a song that matches how I feel. Some people don't think much about that but I find that to be the most fascinating thing. There are only so many music notes, music patterns, and words and yet songwriters are coming up with new songs every day. Granted some of them sound very similar.
Anywho... After my roller coaster week I learned something about myself. Yeah having WHIMS is a struggle I don't wish upon anyone and yes it can get tiring but I wouldn't be me without it. I couldn't imagine a Caitlyn Listz that is completely healthy. I am strong, understanding, caring, and patient because having WHIMS has tested me beyond the limits of most people. WHIMS is not only a part of my genetic makeup, it's a part of my personality. I wouldn't trade it for anything. (As for trading medication side effects for having none is an entirely different story.)
After having said that, I think this quote I happened upon on pinterest fits quite well:
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